Marriage: Are you ready for a Lifelong commitment?

It’s almost a crime not to get married when you are of certain age in the African society. But Things have changed a lot, and marriages are not what they used to be: Where the man was the sole provider and the woman would stay at home cook and take care of the kids. Which ultimately made her submissive and made the man dictatorial. That’s why most marriages lasted for long and divorce in the African society was unheard of.

I just don’t know how bad or good it is for now, but there is something in me that is afraid of a lifelong commitment.  I thought that it’s supposed to make life easier, because you have a companion to go to at the end of the day, someone to support you even when you are obviously wrong (well because there are other people who will tell it to your face like your boss or your friend)

I have heard of some say nikuvumiliana tu(mutual tolerance), other men say Tulijipata tu (found ourselves)because the girl got accidentally knocked up and they had to stay together to raise the kid. I have seen women face murder charges because of attempting to kill their husbands. When did it get to that? I have seen a mother and her kids in the streets begging for food. What happened to the man that helped bring those poor kids to the world?

I have been on a quest to find happily married couples and am yet to find one but am not giving up just yet, am no quitter. They say it’s not easy, apparently it’s a struggle, but I don’t want to struggle because I have been doing that my whole life, struggled to pass my exams, through school, struggled to get a job but this is where things are supposed to get better. why do people stick around? Why get into a union yet you know it’s not going to work? Why get married when you can’t stick to one partner?

Marriages nowadays are not as perfect or as great as I used to think they are. Most of them are glued together by children because it’s hard to walk away from them. (No sane human being walks away from their responsibility anyway). This is why I think that marriage is not a cup of tea, it shouldn’t be an aspiration and no one should rush into it or feel pressured to get in it.

But then again am still very young, fresh out of college,never been married, what do I know? :)